Original Posting: 11/13/2015

I didn’t want to get too excited. I had proofread my prompts and quizzes before only to be suddenly surprised that the tale to which I had been referring should have been spelled “tail.” Or the moment when I realized how the word “weapon” was really spelled. My reality for the first twelve weeks of the semester had been to have Patrick double-check for any other-than-usual-errors. Of course everyone makes mistakes and typos on their assignment sheets, my problem was something greater. At times, English had become a second-language, and to me, it just didn’t make sense. My big G grammar was lost. The cognitive dissonance between my brain and the keyboard didn’t make it any easier.

But today was different.

The English 102 prompt, entitled “The FInal Countdown” provided an overview of the assignments due over the last few weeks of the semester, as well as key reminders about upcoming presentations. The fact that I had written an entire page without calling Patrick in to figure out how to phrase a sentence had been a feat in itself! I didn’t blank. I didn’t need to google a word I forgot how to spell.

I waited nervously while Patrick read over the prompt, keeping an eye on his fingers to see if they moved toward the keys. They didn’t.

“No mistakes?” The word did not seem to quite encompass the errors and difficulties I had writing.

“No mistakes!” he jumped to his feet with a smile dancing across his face and arms outstretched.

We hugged. He cheered. I cried.

I keep such tight reigns on my emotions that they really have no choice but to sneak up on me. In that moment, I felt that I may be more than fine one day. I may even be some version of normal. Well, normal for my crazy ass anyway. And this was my confirmation that something was working.

I don’t know whether it is one thing or a combination of factors that have led to this improvement. I have been dairy-free and mostly gluten-free for over a month, take enough supplements for a small village, and of course, the disease modifying drug, Aubagio, has pumped about $6,000.00 worth of medication into my forty-two-year-old body.

What I do know is that I am sticking to my tailor-made Wellness program, which includes taking care of my mind, body, and spirit. And lash extensions. Lunches with Tricia. Lip-synching ’80s hits with Donna. New lipsticks. And any and every other effing thing that makes me happy and my spirit light. Smile.

#headaches #mri #aubagio #ms